stumbling around,...

and i found him.

sometimes,.. blood ain't thicker than water...

i used to remember mak talked a lots about them during my child hood. he's a good-tough-strong man just like his late father. and nurhanina was the given name by his father. i don't even had any memories with anyone of them in the family, though they may had me a little in theirs. i wrote letters to two of other brothers when i was in primary school. we kept in touch for several years through the snail-post and it's actually encouraged to the hobby of collecting stamps in my child hood. both whom i realize still keep their feet on the ground. the aunt's who used to be my babysitter back then, was cried on 2003, the first time she meet me after "we" left on 1984. she and them haven't yet meet abah and mak since then. and the only memories i had with late grandma was in photographed...

thinking back...

grew up among the cuzzies,... i really want to be part of them... once. i want to be a real "iban" just like them, to speak like them, to eat what ever they eat, to be loved like them, coz every family members loved them and i don't want to feel left out, to go to church every sunday and singing with them, to had a fun like them.... once and was.
they seems enjoy the life that i wish i can be with them. but there was empty soul in joy,...

glad. i'm neither of them.

# "things" do change the person,, heart and soul.
(when the money and power play it roles)

# some people are really good in marketing their "trust" too.